Openly undefined
The Heart & Soul of Non-Monogamy
ABOUT
Ethical non-monogamy takes on many “forms”… polyamory, swinging, open marriage and everything in between. The thing about going non-traditional is that it gives you liberty to create what you want. Well, as long as everyone is aware and everyone is consenting. My husband and I classify as swingers, or in “the lifestyle.” We’ve met swingers who do swing, but don’t ‘identify’ with that term. We’ve met polyamorous couples who swing, and those who don’t. Actually, I have found that most open-relationship folks don’t really like to define themselves…it’s that whole non-traditional thing. The one thing we all have in common is being “open” to one degree or another. Open can be ridiculous amounts of fun. Open can be obscene amounts of sexiness. Open can also be complex. This is a blog about all of it.
If you find yourself unfamiliar with some of the terminology (common at first), here’s a Glossary of Terms to help.
misconCeptions
We are a mature people with rights and feelings (real ones, not just lusty ones). While most of us are just trying to figure out our own way in a non-monogamous world when this isn’t what we were raised to be a part of (let’s just say there is a lot of re-programming going on over here), we are also barraged with a lot of misconceptions about us and our relationships. We might even have our own when we start out. Here are five big ones.
A queen’s buffet
I used to be in marketing, so I am very familiar with spin. Also, I like to write and believe strongly that words matter. I have never liked the term gang bang for a bunch of guys doing one woman, but a Queen’s Buffet, well, this is a story about that.
what you need to be non-monogamous
When people become interested in non-monogamy, swinging or lifestyle clubs or parties, some are concerned about what they need to be in the lifestyle. I’m here to tell you what that is.
Pussy positivity
There is sex positivity and body positivity. Well, now there’s pussy positivity. It has been a journey.
Two-in-one
I wrote this for an SDC contest, “write about your first experience,” a year after my husband and I were in the lifestyle. Now we have been in for almost five and it is interesting to re-read my perspective back then vs. now….Since sharing first experiences is a common and wonderful way to get to know each other, I thought I would kick off the blog with that story.