The Freedom to Be Loud, Sexy, and Fully You

I interviewed someone today who was curious about joining Sacred Sluts—the group that I’m a part of whose description is “spiritually minded women practicing non-monogamy.”

We asked her what drew her to the group and her answer has been echoing in my head all day. The truth of it resonated so deeply.

She told us that, for the first time in a very long time, since entering the lifestyle, she felt like she could actually be herself. Not the filtered, edited, “keep it polite” version. Her full, vibrant, sensual self. She’s from Brazil, and she explained that culturally, she’s used to expressing emotion—she loves to move, to dance, to be loud. In most areas of her life, she has felt that she has to dial that down. But in the swinger club recently? She felt free. She felt seen. She felt like she belonged.

That’s one of the most powerful things about this community.

Yes, the lifestyle is sexy and adventurous and full of electric possibility—but what often surprises people most is the liberation. The sense that they can drop the performance and just be.

This kind of freedom—of self-expression, of identity, of desire—is a big reason people love the lifestyle. It’s a space where people from all walks of life get to stretch into their authenticity. Where we get to shed the rules we didn’t necessarily agree to and ask, “Who am I really, when I’m not trying to follow those rules?”

For women, the transformation can feel even more profound—because so many of us grew up being told to be good, to be modest, to keep our sexuality hidden or only let it out under very certain circumstances. But this isn’t only a women’s story, men feel this too.

So if you’ve ever felt like you were too much—too wild, too sensitive, too emotional, too loud, too sexual—please know: you are not too much. You were just in the wrong room.

The lifestyle community can offer a new room. A space where exploration is celebrated, where authenticity is met with curiosity, and where connection is forged not just through sex—but through truth.

The Sacred Sluts is a community of spiritually minded women practicing non-monogamy. We meet regularly to share, support, and learn from each other. If you’re looking for a group where you can be your full, fierce, and fabulous self, we’d love to meet you.