Openly undefined
The Heart & Soul of Non-Monogamy
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Ethical non-monogamy takes on many “forms”… polyamory, swinging, open marriage and everything in between. The thing about going non-traditional is that it gives you liberty to create what you want. Well, as long as everyone is aware and everyone is consenting. My husband and I classify as swingers, or in “the lifestyle.” We’ve met swingers who do swing, but don’t ‘identify’ with that term. We’ve met polyamorous couples who swing, and those who don’t. Actually, I have found that most open-relationship folks don’t really like to define themselves…it’s that whole non-traditional thing. The one thing we all have in common is being “open” to one degree or another. Open can be ridiculous amounts of fun. Open can be obscene amounts of sexiness. Open can also be complex. This is a blog about all of it.
If you find yourself unfamiliar with some of the terminology (common at first), here’s a Glossary of Terms to help.
Monogamy, Non-Monogamy and Conscious Choice
When you start thinking about non-monogamy—even if you don’t pursue it—it opens your mind to the possibilities of what relationships can look like. This shift in perspective often helps couples have more meaningful conversations about their relationship, needs, and expectations. By considering, or even just learning about non-monogamy, you give yourself and your partner the freedom to explore what’s best for you, rather than what society says is right. For many, probably even most, that journey brings them back to monogamy, but this time, it’s a conscious, empowered choice.
To Tell or Not to Tell
When people get into the lifestyle (LS), they are concerned about anonymity. This is normal, of course, because this is not exactly a generally-accepted practice. People fear they will be discovered by someone they know. Also, when anyone first gets into this, they are not sure they will stay in it, so no need to expose themselves. We all fear not only judgement, but ramifications in our personal and professional lives. Many start with fake names, at least on their profiles, maybe even upon meeting. Profiles are filled with pictures of us with emoji smiley faces covering our own, until we trust someone enough to send them ‘face pics.’ We are all pretty equally scared of being discovered so discretion is a primary value of our tribe.